Communication in Marriage

Learning to have effective communication in marriage is one of the most important aspects of marriage that a couple can work on. This article will provide several practical suggestions for improving communication in marriage.

Before anything else, it is important to dispel the myth that your husband or wife should always now what you are thinking. This attitude can be stated as "if you don't already know what the problem is, you don't deserve to know." This is wrong! As obvious as a problem may seem it is unfair and impossible to expect a spouse to be able to always tell what the problem is. This attitude focuses on the wrong issue - trying to get your partner to guess the problem in stead of trying to find a solution. Instead we should be direct and open in our communication, allowing our time and energies to be spent on resolving the problem.

The following are several suggestions are simply strategies to help improve marriage communication.

As you work to improve your communication in marriage, you will find strategies of your own. It may help to write them down so you have some additional ideas for conflict resolution in the future. Regardless of what strategies or ideas you use to improve communication it is always better to address problems through communication then to bury them thinking that they will go away eventually - they won't! Talk it out in a way that is supportive and loving whenever necessary.

Finally, research on appreciative inquiry has shown the importance of positive communication. Researchers suggest that if there is less than a five to one ratio of positive communication to negative communication in marriage you are in a dangerous area. Keep a mental tally throughout the day of your comments to your spouse (not the other way around). If you find that you are saying less than five positive or uplifting things to every negative or critical thing, change this habit immediately. You will be amazed how quickly things begin to change in your marriage just from this one principle.